The best things in life happen when we least expect them

It's funny how quite often the best things in life happen when we least expect them. Spontaneous plans that turn out to be the best nights of your life, coincidental meetings with people who change your life a way you would never even imagine. When you lose something in your bedroom for example, you look everywhere to find it but you simply cannot see it for the life of you. Only when you stop looking do you come across it and wonder how you never found it before. There are so many moments like this in life particularly when talking about love. So many people search for love, but it rarely works that way because how can you find something when you don't even know what it is you're looking for. When you stop searching and let life do it's own thing it'll find you, however cliché that may sound. When you lose grip of the idea of this perfect guy or girl, and the idea of how romance and love should be, you'll discover your own love story unravelling around you. We're always looking forward, waiting for the next big event or next colossal moment to happen in our lives, and we forget to live in the present. If you take the step to sit back and enjoy life in the now, everything else fits in to place just how it should.


It's hit me lately just how much I believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything will always work out how its meant to. Not that I strongly believe that everything is predetermined but I think there's a fine line between fate and things happening as a result of proactivity. its the tiniest detail that is the reason we're even here today. Every little thing in the past no matter how small has led up to this very moment and when you look back at things that happened you can nearly always understand why. Why things didn't work out in that past relationship or why you didn't get that job you once wanted so badly. That's why I'm safe in the knowledge that from now on everything will happen as it should. I'm not going to sit back and do nothing letting life do it's own thing but if I don't get a job that I want or something goes wrong, I know that's just meant to be and soon enough one day ill be able to look back one day and know the reason why it never worked.

I've said before that deciding to go traveling in Europe on my own back in Easter was life changing, but it's only hit me recently how colossal the changes in my life really were. I made friends for life and got to know myself on a much deeper and more appreciated level. I also just got back from Canada last Sunday! It's all go at the minute but I never would have gone if I hadn't gone traveling because I was visiting one of my best friends I met while in Italy. The Canadian version of me you could call her, and I had such an incredible time over there and it was such a good experience. Quite often when I go away I really struggle with the thought of leaving and coming home back to the little ol' town I live in. Yet this time after my time away alone I knew that I would be fine. That it didn't matter where I was because life is about the unexpected and I didn't need that special someone to come home to. I'm not one of these people who depend solely on their relationship for happiness, I'm simply just too independent for that. Happiness, or rather fulfillment stems from the inside. Gained through self respect and love and having a high appreciation of yourself, which in my opinion you can only truly gain through solitude.

So I stopped looking for this idea of love, up and left to go traveling on my own and got to know myself and what I want so much better. I let go of that searching that was weighing me down, and when I stopped looking, life found a way to bring it to me.  I also know that if someone had told me 6 months ago how my life would be now I certainly wouldn't have believed them. So much has changed and in such a short period of time. You never know what's right around the corner, but I think that's part of the excitement in life. Can you imagine if we knew everything that was going to happen in our lives for the next few years... would be pretty boring really wouldn't it?

In love with the idea of love

We are surrounded by the idea of love. We watch films, read books, see plays, poetry and greeting cards that all put this four letter word on a pedestal. But what does it actually mean? What does it mean to be in love and how do you know when you are, or whether you are simply in love with the idea of love? It's sad but true that we create an idea of the people around us and when they defy it, it questions whether they're right for us in the first place.

We are surrounded by fairy tales and romantic comedies which share no similarities with reality; they are fiction. We know this and yet for some unbeknown reason we convince ourselves that this is what we are looking for and we won't settle for less in the hope one day that moment will come. That brief eye contact in a movie where the characters know there and then that that is the person they will spend the rest of their lives with. How? How is that even slightly possible? I think attraction and lust can be at first sight, but love means a fundamental understanding and appreciation of another person. Loving everything about them, from appearance, to their faults and imperfections that altogether make their personality. Being in love is being in awe of their every detail and accepting that for the rest of your life you will be falling in love with a different person every day because we are always changing. 'Love at first sight', is falling in love with an appearance; with the idea of someone and not the person for who they are because you haven't got to know them yet. They could turn out to be the most horrible person you've ever known and would you still be in love with them? No. I understand you can have a connection with someone straight from meeting them, but that's not love.

This may be a morbid opinion to have but it's reality. The word love is thrown around so easily nowadays and it's the one word that hurts people more than imaginable. It's not just a word it's a promise of acceptance for whatever is to come but it falls apart so easily nowadays that it has simply lost it's meaning. It's funny that when you're single you're opinion on love changes dramatically to when you're with someone. When someone is making you feel happy and free the love songs start to make sense. Sappy love poems and films have a new dimension of meaning. You surround yourself with things to do with love so much so that you build the situation up to so much more than it really is. You lose sense of reality because you encase yourself in your own fictional scenario. You become in love with the idea of love and the idea of the person you're with so much, that when life and reality get in the way and things don't work out it makes the fall down so much harder. You convince yourself that now you're in love you will never be lonely again and it's far from the truth. You've been living on such a high, watching your own life as if you're watching a film expecting the happily ever after because that's just what happens in fiction. But reality is not fiction, it never will be. You have the reality of bills to pay, arguments, cheating. You are exposed to the good side of love and never expect the bad, therefore it's much more heart breaking when the bad happens. When you build your expectations so high, reality will never compete and it will lead to an ultimate unhappiness. The worst part is you can't understand this at the time either. You blame yourself, the timing, then the person who supposedly broke your heart... but did they? Or ultimately do we simply break our own hearts by building our expectations unreasonably high that we can't handle it when the truth is revealed. Due to being exposed to this idea of perfect love we're always expecting more intentionally or not. It's drilled into our subconscious what love should be, therefore it's never as glamorous and it ultimately leads to disappointment.

Not always though. I'm more than aware that some people meet and just know and if that happens then so be it. You're one of the lucky ones because there are so many people with bitterness towards love because of the past. Who find it so difficult to trust again because of one time or many times where it's been broken. We live our lives in search of love because we think it is the answer to true happiness. Maybe for some people it is, but for me I know it isn't. I'm a believer that happiness comes from loving and accepting yourself. Only then can you appreciate the love you receive. Quite often people feel they don't deserve the love they receive and that's because they haven't yet accepted themselves for how great they really are. Most of us are in love with the idea of love. It's just understanding that there is a big difference between the idea and reality.  

The clock is always ticking

Time is the strangest concept. Who decided that as soon as it becomes dark the world has to go to sleep. Just to think the other side of the world is waking up as your head hits the pillow goodnight. It often strikes me how much importance time has in our lives. A split second can change someone's life forever. That tiny moment of the second hand of the clock moving that fraction of an inch and everything can change. To think that every second that passes we will never ever get back. We can't turn back the clock no matter how many times it's done within fiction. Every tiny action we take or word we speak in that second, has the potential to change not only our lives, but the lives of the people around us. I guess that links to the idea of fate. I can't say I definitively believe everything is predetermined, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason; even if we never find out what that reason is. It's the tiniest details that always get me when you look back on the past. You hear the stories of how couples met, and it was only by that small slither of a chance that they are together today. My parents met on an organised trip to a concert and ended up sitting next to each other on the bus. If they hadn't have sat next to each other I wouldn't be here today. It's astonishing how tiny the details of the past can be that can bring you to the point of reading this very post today. Such as near death experiences... we've all heard of cases where people have been seconds from death and manage to escape, right place right time and maybe without even knowing. No, I'm not talking about final destination, but you get my drift.

It's negative things too though. You know those pivotal moments of feeling like absolute crap because you have been dumped by your partner for example. Yet in months, maybe years, you look back with a different perspective and see why things didn't work, knowing it was for the best. And why is that? Because time is fundamentally a portal of change. We look back on things that happened in the past with a different perspective because we ourselves are different. Every day we change. Noticeably or not. One day we'll suddenly be 70 years old and wonder where the hell our life has gone because time is the most powerful and manipulative thing in our lives. It's the foundations of how we live without us even realising. We convince ourselves we have all the time in the world. We feel as though it's something that we control yet in reality it controls us. Think about it... we get up at a certain time, we should have lunch at a certain time, eat our tea and then go to sleep before it gets too late. We live by the hours that pass us because were always looking to the next event, the next thing we should be doing. We live in a world where everyone likes the idea of living in the moment, yet very few actually take that step and grasp every opportunity. We live day by day rather than second by second, counting down the days until Christmas or a birthday and gradually years turn into the equivalent of minutes. I've always thought time goes quickly but with technology and our ever growing awareness of it; it flies by even quicker. I can't count the number of times I'll come onto the computer and when I look at the time 2 or 3 hours have passed without me even realising, and it's scary. That's how I imagine to see my life one day when I'm older, I'm scared that one day I'll ask myself where the hell did it go?!

That's the motivation that keeps me from making a decision about life. Figuring out an answer to the famous... "What would you like to do with your life?". They mean career wise but I can never find an answer for that question other than just enjoy it. I don't want to look back one day and regret not doing more with my life, which you hear happening so often. So I decided when I arranged my travels that I am going to live. From that moment and from every moment since I've been home, I have the motivation to just make the most of life. My travels changed me and, as you may agree it's hard coming home after being away anyway, so 5 weeks away definitely had an effect on me. On my travels I didn't become a new person. I just became the person I was meant to be, who was hiding under who I was being, but not living. I have become really deep, as you may be able to tell, and changing so much then returning to somewhere that hasn't changed a bit has been difficult. I can only compare it to trying to fit a jigsaw puzzle piece into the empty space that looks right but it just won't fit. And coming back to reality is hard when you've had the best 5 weeks of your life but I'm staying positive. I've already planned a trip to Canada to visit the most amazing best friend I met while traveling, and I find that keeping my mind on my plans of future trips is keeping me from the dreaded future of trying to figure out a career path. When I say to people I'm planning to get a temporary job, save up to go traveling, then return and do the same again, they say it's ridiculous and you can't do that for the rest of your life. It's not my life long plan but its for sure a momentary one for the here and now, and all I want to know is who says I can't?! Just because I'm not taking the conventional path and going to university then finding a dead end job I'll be stuck in for life, its a big thing trying to do something individually while everyone around me is doing the same thing but I'm doing what makes me happy. Happiness is of fundamental importance when it comes to enjoying life. If doing this, even temporarily is making me happy, I'm not planning to sacrifice that for the expectations of society and other people, anytime soon.

My Life Changing Adventure

Wow.. where to start! Firstly I've simply had the best 5 weeks of my life. If you don't know why, I've been travelling around Europe for 5 weeks. More precisely Germany, Austria and Italy. The first 3 weeks was just little old me on my own and I've never embraced solitude so much before. I was admittedly worried about being by myself for so long, but that was one of the reasons I did it. I really feel like I had to get to know myself better and I think the only way to truly do that was by being by myself, and doing the one thing I love to do; Travel. And I'm home now and I already feel so much better in myself. My whole life I've always been constricted, to school then college then work and there was never a chance to just step outside on my own, take a deep breath and press pause on everything while you catch up with yourself. When you're so confined by these things that people say are what make life, you become what everyone wants you to become. Okay you are yourself to a degree but you can't say no I don't want this, or this is what I want because you never get the time to actually think about it, let alone voice it to anyone. Everyone needs freedom, it just so happens that I find freedom through travelling. So it was just amazing taking these last 5 weeks just to sit back and say, you know what... I deserve this. It was the most rewarding experience. I think travelling is the only thing you buy that can make you richer, and the fact I saved up every penny by myself made it all the more rewarding as well.


So I started my trip in Berlin, where I stayed for a week. I fell in love with this city. It's such a contrasting place; oozing history and remembrance, yet feeling so modern at the same time. I gained an appreciation of Architecture I never knew I had, I developed my German speaking skills to the extent that when I finally got to Italy I was still speaking German back when they spoke to me in English... oops! On my whole trip I've met the most incredible people. Even when travelling on my own before the tour I joined, I had so many moments you only hear happens in world travellers blogs. Those moments where complete strangers ask you to join them and you do, and you have an almost life changing conversation with people who are genuinely interested in your life. The kind of moments that only really happen while traveling because if you were somewhere in your hometown and someone asked you to join them you would more often than not swiftly walk away. So Germany was incredible, and I just love it... and the beer of course! Austria was equally amazing, the mountains and lakes are just stunning. There's something about mountains that I find extremely difficult to describe, but they provoke such a sense of awe and wonder in me. They're just so powerfully majestic, sitting there in such quiet serenity.

Then for Italy. Well I've pretty much seen the whole of Italy in only 2 and a half weeks which is pretty darn incredible. Starting in Bologna, the stereotype of the Italian way of life. The red city oozes Italy from it's people to the buildings. It hit me I was in Italy as I was walking down a small cobbled lane, surrounded by red buildings, I found a tiny Italian delicacy shop. I was standing looking in the window at the range of meats, cheeses, pastas and fruits when four cello players started playing the most beautiful music just on the street beside the shop. It hit me for a moment I was living in a film, I had my own soundtrack because this was my journey and the exact moment that would happen in a film...was a bit surreal! Then I visited the little land locked country of San Marino, the 5th smallest country in the world... and it's basically a mountain. Being the highest point in the Apennines the views were just spectacular. Also probably the friendliest place I went to too, it was just a beautiful place to visit. Then I hit Rimini, the beach part of my solo trip, where I really didn't do a lot but relax... and I am not complaining! I needed a break to catch up a bit plus a needed the rest before the fast pace of my tour, which is going to be my favourite thing to talk about...

So I joined a Contiki tour, which went all around Italy, in this order. Rome, Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri, Florence, Verona, Venice, Lake Garda, Milan, La Spezia, Cinque Torre, Pisa and back to Rome. As you can imagine it was extremely fast paced but the amount we got to see made it incredible. The tour was only 12 days and yet everyone became a family to me. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have met the people that I did. I got about 4 hours sleep every night and have never been so tired but I wouldn't change a thing. No regrets, the only thing that gets me down is knowing how far away my friends are now. I was the only British on the tour! Everyone coming from Canada, America or Australia and now they're a world away from me, but I'm just going to save up and visit. My future plans currently revolve around further travelling. I've been well and truly bitten by the travel bug. But it's amazing how being surrounded by people who share your passion for travel can make you feel. I feel so happy in myself, because I was accepted for who I was and it kind of finalised my acceptance of myself after my solitude. I'm not saying I love myself, not wholly, but the process has started and I have a deeper appreciation for myself that I never had before. I feel fundamentally happier and I hope it lasts without me getting hit by the holiday blues too much. The last 5 weeks have been life changing for me and I wouldn't change a thing. 

Tomorrow is the start of an adventure...

So tomorrow is the big day. The day I leave for my solo European adventure. I literally cannot believe how quickly the times gone! When I began booking my month of travels, it always seemed so far away. Now, 7 months later here I am, all packed up and ready to go.


 When I tell people about the fact I'm going traveling I get the general reaction of wow, that sounds amazing, I'm jealous etc. Then comes the big question.. who are you traveling with? When I answer that I'm going by myself I have grown to simply laugh at the reaction. "You're crazy" "You're mad" "Why?" and my favourite... "but what will you do... you'll be on your own?!" People seem to wonder why an earth I would do such a thing on my own and seem to think it's truly outrageous. It's as if traveling is something that is seen as a shared experience, but in my opinion to truly immerse yourself into a different country and a different culture I think sometimes you be have to be alone to fully appreciate it. Cut yourself off from everything you know and just adapt because you can. These questions people ask, to me, just shows how much people are scared by the thought of their own company. I embrace solitude, as I have written about in a previous blog post, but I still feel like people are afraid of it. To be free from the restrictions of other people, of other peoples judgements; brings a freedom that is indescribable. While I'm away I can do what I want, when I want and how I want and there's going to be no one to stop me. I think that's quite a liberating experience and I'm surprised not many other people do the same.

So I'm going traveling, yep on my own and I'm going to be a traveller. Not a tourist. Because there's a big difference between a traveller and a tourist. A traveller is seeking something deeper than just photos and anecdotes. They are seeking an adventure. Seeking the freedom that comes with immersing yourself into unknown places, hidden getaways and uncovering places and sights you'd never imagine coming across. Being a tourist is conventional, but being a traveller is courageous. I'll admit I'm not fearless. Its a scary thing to do, but if it wasn't scary it wouldn't be worth doing. Anticipation adds to the excitement and although I'll miss my family and friends I will come back with a million stories to tell. Life's too short to live with regrets. I don't want to be one of these people who look back one day and wish they had of done more with their lives. Wish they had have taken advantage of the opportunities they had right on their doorstep but instead were too afraid to just say yes.
 

 So for 32 days I'll be visiting 5 different countries. A variety of places lay waiting to be revealed, and I'll be seeing them in this order...Berlin, Dresden, Nuremberg, Munich, Klagenfurt, Bologna, San Marino, Rimini, Rome, Sorrento, Florence, Venice, Milan, La Spezia and Vatican City. Words can't express how excited I am for this adventure, but my camera is at the ready and I'll be sure to write up a blog post either while I'm away or bombard it when I return. So, Aufwiedersehen and Arrivederci for now, the world awaits...

 

 

The freedom of reading

Just to put it simply... I love reading. I always have and I will always try and find a bit of time to take out and indulge in a good old book. I admit I always found it difficult to find the time out to do as such. Yet nowadays with my friends all living far away at university and me stuck in my own little world, I like to sit back in my free time and enter a new world of fiction. I think the main reason for that is because it's a good distraction for me, it keeps my mind occupied and creative rather than sitting dwelling on my loneliness and how much I truly miss them.

I think books are so powerful. I think its incredible that a handful of words can trigger such strong emotions, making you laugh out loud one minute and hysterically crying the next. I never used to cry at books no matter how sad, then once I read a particular series of books that for some reason really got to me and there I was crying bucket loads. Ever since, I find myself shedding a tear at the smallest of tragedies hidden beneath the words on page. The hopeless romantic stuck inside of me is admittedly a big Nicholas Sparks fan; the epitome of tragic romance. So there I'll be, sitting on a train finishing the last couple of chapters, tears spilling from my eyes while undoubtedly a few curious glances are being pointed my way. (And I hate to admit that's happened more than once...)

But it's that amazing moment where you're so gripped in this other world you forget your surroundings and get lost in the emotions just from the words on the page in front of you and your eyes just can't leave the page. And then you come to the end and for a minute you sit there in a slight daze. Heartbroken at the fact the relationships you just formed with the people in the book are over, that you've come to the end and it takes a moment or two to come back to reality. I love that feeling. Not the one where you're at the end of the book but that moment you are forced to put it down and it takes a moment to realise the footsteps you were just walking in and life you were just living really were just fiction; a figure of your imagination due to the stimuli of a few words.

In one of the books I read the other day there was a quote I remember really well, It went... "I love reading. Books give me what I don't have in real life". For some reason this quote has stuck with me and it struck me just how true it is.  Not only do they give you what you don't have they can help you forget what you do. Sometimes we need to escape and by letting ourselves in to the world of fiction, getting so caught up in between the words, you find yourself able to forget what is going on in your head and in your life... The perfect escape.

Fiction is amazing in my opinion. I think it's amazing how you can create relationships with characters, admiring them, hating them, loving them. When it comes to films and television the characters are there before your eyes but by reading, your mind is the one that creates them. You see them how you want to see them and there's such a freedom that comes to being able to use your own imagination to further create a story. I also think reading has the capability to change your perspective on your own life by witnessing another persons point of view. And occasionally I find myself reading things that are so relatable that I find it hard to believe I didn't write it myself.

 
 

The glory of Solitude

Solitude is one of my favourite words. Not for the sound as it's not exactly the most pleasant, but because of its meaning. I am a very independent person and although I cannot imagine a life without my friends and family, and I couldn't ask for better company, I love being by myself. Embracing the glory of solitude to its full capability. There is such a freedom that comes as a side effect to solitude. The freedom to be able to think deeply about life; or the freedom to just lay in the grass and watch the clouds pass overhead with the sun warming the ground around you hearing no sound but your own thoughts. There's a well known saying that being alone is not the same as being lonely and I couldn't agree more. Being by yourself does not make you any less of a person, embracing the company of yourself is one of the strongest things you can do because it means you are accepting yourself for who you are. You aren't trying to change drastically to create better perceptions of yourself but its a gradual process of beginning to love yourself. I think being on your own, truly on your own, can you only then really get to know the real you. You delve into thoughts you never knew existed, figure out skills and a creativity you never knew you had and can gradually become more confident in your own skin, gaining more confidence in your own decisions.


This is one of the main reasons I am going traveling on my own. I feel like it's a necessity for me to begin to get to know myself better and I really feel that I can only do that through solitude while doing one of the things I love to do: travel. I yearn to be in places I've never been, to gaze in awe at the most beautiful sights. I will have the freedom to ride my bike as far as I want to go, eat whatever I want whenever I want, go walking in woodland and look at the wildlife or get up at a ridiculous time in the morning just to watch the sunrise above a mountain top. Most of you are probably thinking but you could do all of that with someone else... and you're right, but to me there's just something about being alone that I can't describe. I just think that it is so wonderful to enjoy your own company.

Of course this doesn't apply all of the time. I love being alone, granted, but I don't like being lonely. Loneliness is the grievance of Solitude, it's evil twin but I do believe that there's a choice. You have the freedom to choose whether to dwell on the negatives of being alone or to embrace it. Sometimes that's a really tough battle and occasionally loneliness will win but it's particularly in these times, when loneliness is overwhelming, that I find friends to be the best medicine.

I'm also not one of these women who need a man in their life to be happy. I personally think that true happiness comes from a fundamental love for yourself. Yep it's that cheesy saying isn't it, you have to love yourself before someone can love you. It's not completely true of course but I think the general message of it is particularly important. You have to have an ounce of self love, respect and appreciation for you to truly believe that you deserve the love you receive. I'm the kind of person who pushes people away because I guess I'm a bit of an all or nothing girl, but lately I've realised it's my insecurities that hold me back. My lack of belief that I deserve true happiness and true love. Because of that I have realised I need to embrace my solitude, figure out who I am. So I'm going travelling with just me, myself and I and I intend to truly make the most of it.

Distance is just another test...

Distance. That short word with such a long meaning. The fact is the world is a pretty big place and yet with the advances in technology nowadays it has never been easier to communicate with each other, no matter where we are in the world. I could pick up the phone or pop up on chat to someone in Australia and hear back within seconds. Which baring in mind is the other side of the world from here is really quite impressive. So why do we find distance so hard and such a formidable topic when it comes to relationships and friendships.

When people think about long distance relationships the main opinion is it rarely works but occasionally it can. The general thought is that these types of relationships are more likely to fail than others and yet no one really knows where that myth has come from. I just looked up some statistics about it for example and over 14 million people from the US alone are in long-distance relationships and according to this site '75 % of all engaged couples have been (at some point) in a long distance relationship'. Which is pretty amazing considering the myths surrounding them. Through my experience this myth is mostly created by word of mouth: "Oh I know someone who was in a long distance relationship, it didn't last". Something I and probably you have heard before. It is then drilled into our minds that long distance just would not work. I genuinely believe however that if two people really wanted to be with each other enough, distance wouldn't matter. Okay it would be hard, it would be damned difficult and there would be times where you doubt everything but if you're strong enough to cope with it, you can make it work. You would appreciate every moment you were together with such sincerity that the good times would equal out all of those in-between days spent in limbo counting down the days to see each other again. I think that long distance relationships that last are so special and I believe that anyone who is in one is so strong.

I'm writing this post however not just about long distance relationships, which I have no personal experience of, but about friendships. Leaving college last year and choosing not to go to university was a difficult thing to do. My college in particular pushed university to the max and it was just the expectation that I would go; and yet I never wanted to. Of course I can understand why people would but choosing not to was, in my mind, one of the best decisions I could have made. It did however mean I was sacrificing a huge change in my social life. All of my closest friends (with a couple of exceptions) all moved away, creating new lives and making new friends for life. This terrified me. All of my friends would move away and forget about me and I would be stuck in this little ol' town on my own. But then I slapped myself around the face and realised that friendships don't just happen and then end. Okay, so some friendships are like shooting stars, a flashing glimpse and then gone again. Generally however friendships take a lot of hard work but nothing is more worthy of time and effort. I couldn't imagine my life without my friends and I think that is what scared me. I was scared to lose one of the most precious things I was lucky enough to have in my life. But I realised that it was just a choice. A choice to either sit back and wallow in my solitude and self-pity for a long time, or make a choice to put in the effort and keep these friendships alive. For me, it was a no brainer. My best friends are the most incredible people and they are what keep me going in the dark times. When everything gets too much and I am surrounded by only darkness my friends are always there, the light at the end of the tunnel. They encourage me to use all of my strength and reach the end and slowly but surely get me back to myself again. I could never be more grateful and I wish I was able to show how appreciative I was and how much it means that they're always there but I could never find the words to do my gratefulness justice.


Distance separates all of us, but its your perspective on distance which makes a difference. My friends are now miles away and I really struggle to cope with that sometimes. I struggle that I can't just text and meet up for coffee in an hour or pop round their house to say hi, but I've come to the realisation now that it doesn't matter how far away we are from each other. When we come together now, I appreciate every moment and treasure it knowing it may not happen again for a while. I've found that I have developed my inner self and grown a lot by being independent and through my solitude I have been able to also appreciate the easiness of communication. I know now that anytime I need them they are on the other end of the phone or just a train ride away.

There was a quote I loved during the time they were leaving... "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". And that really hit home as to how lucky I was and I like to think of that quote every time I have to say goodbye to them for a while. I was sad at the prospect of them leaving and it hurts from time to time now, knowing that they're not just around the corner. Yet I know deep down that having that something to miss, has deepened my appreciation of its existence in the first place. I am also safe in the knowledge that it doesn't matter where we are in our lives, some friendships really can and will last forever. Distance is just another test, some friendships have failed because of it but if a friendship is strong enough to withstand long distance and two people are keen enough to keep that friendship alive, it is one of the easiest and most heart warming things to do.

 

A miniscule act of kindness

Firstly, thank you...I would just like to say I am blown away by the response I have gotten by starting this blog. Of course at first I was apprehensive about starting it and yet with over 200 page views in not much longer than 24 hours, I am speechless. Well okay obviously not completely speechless as I'm sat here typing away but you know what I mean.

In fact the response I have received has really gotten me thinking about how important kindness is. I truly believe that a small act of kindness can go such a long way. Even a tiny, miniscule act of kindness will carry on expanding and create this ripple effect that in hindsight never really ends. Take a smile for example. No doubt every person reading this, which may be a couple more than I originally thought, has managed to fake a smile. Sometimes when you're falling apart on the inside the only thing you have left to do is smile, because smiling is quite possibly the best disguise a person can wear. You can be breaking inside but when you're wearing a smile no one will ask what is wrong, the question that could be the final straw to break you down into pieces. Well anyway, what I'm trying to say is that smiles are contagious. If someone walking past you down the street flashes you a smile, a large percentage of the time you will smile back and the same goes for customer service. If you go into a shop or a café and the person who serves you is extremely friendly and cheerfully smiling (within reason) it can have the capability to make you feel that little bit uplifted. Even if it's just that little act, being noticed and recognised even just for one second can mean more to a lot of people than anyone would ever realise.

A compliment is the same in my opinion. Okay so most of the time people rarely accept compliments. "I like your hair today", "eugh it's a mess". I'm guessing that most of you have experienced similar scenario conversations before. It's strange how compliments are rarely accepted nowadays but I guess that stems from a lack of self esteem when it comes to what others may think about us, we are our own worst critic after all. I find the smallest act can mean so much to me because I'm a particularly sensitive person. For example at work the other day (I work in a coffee shop by the way) a regular customer and I were talking about baking. Riveting conversation I know, however she was telling me about this cake which she makes all of the time. A few days later she came in again and handed me the recipe. She had gone out of her way, with me in mind, wrote the recipe out, remembered to put it in her bag that day just to give it to me. This may seem a strange story to be telling but I was really touched by that small act of kindness. Some people reading will probably be thinking did I really read all of this just to hear that dramatic plot twist, but to me I found it hard to believe that I was important enough in her life for her to go out of her way to do that. I guess it made me realise maybe they don't always just see me as the girl who serves them their coffee.

I don't know why but I am always blown away by the prospect that someone else has thought about me or done something for me. I'm not saying I consider myself a transparent figure in people's lives, of course occasionally everyone feels that way now and then but it's these small acts which bring the colour back. Sometimes life can be so black and white, mundane and monotonous and then someone will perform an act of kindness, no matter how small, just for you and I believe that personal touch can bring you back again. I believe it can give you such a sense of fulfilment and importance. No matter how long that feeling lasts, seconds or days, I think it's appreciating these things that can help lead toward a deeper feeling of true happiness. I feel happier lately because I've adapted to this new perspective of being grateful and just seeing the greatness in every small act. Because in the end it's all the little things that add up to be the biggest.  
 

A little bit of wisdom I like to call my own

One thing I’m strict about in my life is to never ever regret. Take every opportunity as it arises and simply make the most of every opportunity that will ultimately add to your overall life experiences. If I want something I’ll try my best to make it happen, go with the flow and even if it causes slight consequences, I never wish it didn’t happen. No matter how much you may wish for a time machine to take you back to that precise moment in time where you feel you shouldn’t have done something, it will never happen. Knowing this has helped me to never even think that way again. Wondering what if will never change anything nor will it change your feelings or anyone else’s. What is done is done and although that may be a bleak outlook, to me that is simply reality. Reality is harsh, so is life. Life is frigging difficult. We never grew up thinking it would be easy, we’ve simply matured into realising that things have a lot more depth to them than a child’s perspective. A lot of people say they wish they could go back to being a kid again, when life was this so called 'easy'. I can’t deny I’ve even said it before, but if ever I do come across a thought like that I simply become nostalgic. I put on those rose-tinted glasses and I appreciate the amazing memories from my childhood. I realise how lucky I was to be so free back then and instead of loathing I come to the realisation that although I am physically older now, the key to happiness is staying young hearted. Everyone has an inner child within them and there’s never an excuse not to feel young again...

Travel vs Money.

The truth is there are so many things swirling around my head, it almost feels like I’m trying to swim upstream against a strong current that’s just trying to pull me under. Currently? I’m still above the surface and my ever expanding outlook on life is helping keep me there. I have the strongest, most indescribable desire to see the world; not only see it, but to experience it. I want to sit on my own at the top of a mountain on top of the world, breathing in the freshest air and watching an eagle swoop down and fly at its own will.

Obviously I’ve always wanted to fly, hasn’t everyone? But I also believe that if we were able to it wouldn’t be this dream that everyone had, we would take it for granted and not realise how lucky we were, which I guess is also my attitude on money. It’s sad to think that money is such a depending factor on whether we can or can’t do what we want to in life. If money wasn’t an issue I would up and leave and travel around the world, seeing every nook and cranny the world has to offer and no doubt everyone has a stored up answer for when someone asks "what would you do if money wasn’t an issue?" But again it’s the M word that stops it. My guess is nearly everyone reading this, which is more than likely not many, have heard the question “what would you do if you won the lottery?”. Funny enough you have to play it to actually win it which in my experience not many people seem to realise, it’s as though talking about it and day dreaming about it will automatically one day make you win.

Anyway, slightly off key there, but the fact is I yearn to travel the world. I am extremely lucky already, I have visited around 26 countries which is phenomenal for my age (I am 19 by the way) and I know how lucky I am. I simply yearn for more, I guess you could say I have a severe case of the 'travel bug'. But this is the exact reason why I have decided to go traveling, for a month and all by myself. And as I am scraping pennies trying to save up enough, I am counting down the days until I leave. Which happens to be in fact... 3 months today.

Hello

I’ve always wanted to write a book or a blog, I’ve just never known where to start or even how. I guess there’s just a lot swirling around in my mind and yet there’s no one currently in my life who I could sit and talk to about everything. Plus it would take a monstrous amount of time and they would no doubt be snoring away within minutes.

So today I thought...you know what, there's no point sitting thinking about wanting to do it. If I want something to happen it's me that has to do something about it. Proactivity is key to change. So here I am, typing away and ready to write some posts that most people will probably never read. But as long as I'm getting it out there, what's the harm?

So I'm calling myself Wonder Girl... not after the comic hero 'Wonder Woman', I'm not that arrogant, but because I am inquisitive and enjoy the little things in life. I am full of wonder and awe and I want to share some things with people who may or may not listen. So hopefully you won't hate me or my thoughts too much and I hope I don't bore you with my posts either. If you do take some time out to read as few or as many posts, I would like to say thank you. It means more than you'll ever know...